Cars 2 Quotes (2011)
Mater: Oh, for a second there I thought you was trying to fix my dents.
Holley Shiftwell: Yes, I was.
Mater: Well then, no thank you. I don't get them dents buffed, pulled, filled or painted by nobody. They way too valuable.
Holley Shiftwell: Your dents are valuable? Really?
Mater: I come by each one of 'em with my best friend Lightning McQueen. I don't fix these. I wanna remember these dents forever.
Mack: Oh, these best friend greetings, they get longer every year.
Mack: Those two are perfect for each other.
Mater: [Voice-over reading the letter] By the time you read this, I'll be safely on an airplane heading home. I'm so sorry for what I did.
Lightning McQueen: [Reading Mater's Letter in the Hotel Lobby] I don't want to be the cause of you losing any more races. I want you to go prove to the world what I already know: that you are the greatest racecar in the whole wide world. Your best friend, Mater.
Lightning McQueen: I didn't really want him to leave.
Luigi: Wait there's more here
[moves to next page]
Luigi: P.S. Please tell the hotel I didn't mean to order that movie. I thought it was just a preview and I didn't realize I was paying for it.
[Shifts the page]
Luigi: P.P.S that's funny right there.
[Shifts the pages around]
Luigi: P.P. there's uh a few more pages of P.S.'s here.
Lightning McQueen: Well at least I know if he's at home, he'll be safe.
[McQueen is showing Mater his latest Piston Cup, which has been renamed in honor of Doc Hudson, who is implied to have passed away]
Mater: Wow. I can't believe they renamed the Piston Cup after our very own Doc Hudson.
Lightning McQueen: I know Doc said these things were just old cups, but to have someone else win it just didn't feel right, you know?
[McQueen looks sadly at the newspaper article depicting Doc winning his third Piston Cup, missing him dearly]
Mater: Well, Doc would've been real proud of you. That's for sure.
[McQueen gives Mater a smile of thanks for his kind words]
Finn McMissile: My apologies, I haven't properly introduced myself. Finn McMissile, British intelligence.
Mater: Tow Mater, average intelligence.
Lightning McQueen: [on the starting line of the Tokyo race] Speed. I am speed.
Francesco Bernoulli: Ha ha ha! Really? You are speed? Then Francesco is TRIPLE speed! "Francesco... he's triple speed!" Ho oh! Francesco likes this McQueen! He's a really getting him into the zone!
Lightning McQueen: [to himself] He is so getting beat today...
Mater: I'll have some of that there pistachio ice cream.
Sushi Chef: No, no. Wasabi.
Mater: Oh, same old, Same old, what's up with you?
Uncle Topolino: Chi trova un amico, trova un tesoro.
Lightning McQueen: What does that mean?
Mama Topolino: "Whoever finds a friend, finds a treasure."
Uncle Topolino: A wise car hears one word and understands two...
Francesco Bernoulli: [at the Tokyo World Grand Prix party, Francesco spots Lightning] Ah! Lightning McQueen! Bona seda!
Lightning McQueen: Uh, nice to meet you, Francesco.
Francesco Bernoulli: Yes, nice to meet you too. You are very good looking. Not as good as I thought, but you're good!
Mater: 'Scuse me, can I get a picture with you?
[drives next to Francesco]
Francesco Bernoulli: Ah, anything for McQueen's friend.
Mater: Miss Sally is gonna flip when she sees this!
Mater: She's Lightning McQueen's girlfriend.
Francesco Bernoulli: Ooh...
Mater: She's a big fan of yers.
Francesco Bernoulli: Hey, she has a-good taste.
Lightning McQueen: Well, Mater's prone to exaggeration; I wouldn't say she's a "big fan".
Mater: You're right. She's a HUGE fan! She goes on and on about your open wheels here.
[He taps Francesco's left front wheel]
Lightning McQueen: Well, mentioning it once doesn't qualify as going "on and on".
Francesco Bernoulli: Francesco is familiar with this... reaction to Francesco. Women respect a car that has a-nothing to hide.
Lightning McQueen: Yeah, uh...
[fake-laughs and shakes his frame "no" while falsely smiling]
Stephenson: [Stephenson, the train, is traveling to Porto Corsa, carrying Finn, Holley, and Mater] Finn, one hour to Porto Corsa.
Finn McMissile: [inside one of the cars] Thank you, Stephenson.
[a robot arm screws in an orange light on top of Mater]
Holley Shiftwell: Yeah, I think that should just about do it.
[she presses a button on a control panel and backs away from it]
Finn McMissile: Perfect.
Holley Shiftwell: So Mater, it's voice-activated. But, you know, everything's voice-activated these days.
Mater: What? I thought you's supposed to be making me a dee-sguise.
Mater's Computer: Voice recognized. Disguise program initiated.
[the computer uses a hologram to make Mater look like Ivan, another tow truck]
Mater: Ha ha. Cool! Hey computer, make me a German truck!
Mater's Computer: Request acknowledged.
[Mater wears a funny German costume with a green hat]
Mater: Check it out! I'm wearing Materhosen! Make me a monster truck!
Mater's Computer: Request acknowledged.
[Mater wears a vampire costume]
Mater: What the? Hahahaha.
Mater: I vant to siphon your gas! Ha ha! Now make me a taco truck!
Mater's Computer: Request acknowledged.
[Mater becomes a white taco truck, and his horn plays "La Cucaracha"]
Mater: A funny car!
Mater's Computer: Request acknowledged.
[He becomes painted yellow with red flames, hot rod exhaust pipes, a hot rod engine, and a spoiler. Mater revs his engine a few times, enjoying the disguise]
Finn McMissile: [turns off the hologram] The idea is to keep a low profile, Mater.
Luigi: [at the Tokyo party, Lightning, Mater, Luigi, Guido, Sarge, and Fillmore descend a spiral ramp] Guido, look! Ferraris AND tires! Let's go!
Lightning McQueen: Oh ho ho! Look at this! Okay, now Mater, remember - best behavior.
Mater: You got it buddy. Hey! What's that?
Lightning McQueen: No, Mater!
Lewis Hamilton: [offscreen] Hey, McQueen! Over here!
Lightning McQueen: [Lightning joins them] Lewis!
Lewis Hamilton: Hey man.
Lightning McQueen: Jeff!
Jeff Gorvette: Hey, Lightning! Can you believe this party?
Mater: [Mater drives over to a small isolated room with glass walls on all sides, with a zen garden and zen master inside; Mater taps on the glass with his hook] Hey! you done good, you got all the leaves!
Jeff Gorvette: Check out that tow truck!
Lewis Hamilton: Man, I wonder who that guy's with.
Lightning McQueen: Uh, heh heh. Will you guys excuse me for one little second?
[he heads towards Mater]
Lightning McQueen: Look, Mater, we're not in Radiator Springs.
Mater: You're just noticing that? Boy, that jet lag really done a number on you.
Mater: [after being served a whole plate of wasabi] Now that's a scoop of ice cream.
Sushi Chef: [in Japanese] My condolences.
Mater: Do not try the free pistachio ice cream! It done turn!
Finn McMissile: Siddley. Paris, tout de suite.
Mater: Two of them sweets for me too.
Mater: I call this move "what I accidentally did to my friend Luigi".
Sally: [Sees Fransisco on television] He's so good looking, what, with those big, open wheels...
Lightning McQueen: Wait, what do you got against fenders?
Sally: Nothing! Nothing.
Lightning McQueen: What's wrong with my fenders?
Finn McMissile: Calculate the fastest way to...
Holley Shiftwell: [Wings suddenly stick out of her] Got it!
Finn McMissile: Oh, Ms. Shiftwell...
Holley Shiftwell: They're standard issue now.
Finn McMissile: You kids get all the good hardware.
Sarge: [Tasting gas in Tokyo] I can't believe it! They use the same stuff like in Radiator Springs, yet it is so much better!
Fillmore: That's because it's organic, man!
Mater: [Approaches Guido, who is tending the bar] Hey, Guido, what's McQueen's usual?
Guido: [In Italian] How am I supposed to know?
Mater: Perfect! I'll take two!
Leland Turbo: [speaking into a video recorder] This is agent Leeland Turbo. I have a flash transmission for agent Finn McMissile. Finn, my cover's been compromised. Everything's gone pear-shaped. You won't believe what I've found out here. This is bigger than anything we've ever seen. And no one even knows it exists. Finn, I need backup. But don't call the cavalry, it could blow the operation. And be careful! It's not safe out here!
[sees something offscreen, gets alarmed]
Leland Turbo: Transmitting my coords now. Good luck!
[Mater has just forced Axlerod to admit he's the one behind the plot to sabotage the races to make everyone go back to using oil instead of alternative fuel by deactivating the bomb attached to Mater, who gives a satisfied smirk as two police cars surround Axlerod to arrest him, allowing Mater to open Axlerod's hood to reveal... ]
Finn McMissile: The engine from the photo.
Holley Shiftwell: It's a perfect match.
Sir Miles Axlerod: How did the tow truck figure it out?
Lightning McQueen: [to Mater] It's official. You're coming to all my races from now on.
Mater: Now you're talkin'.
[the two friends give each other a "high-five"]
[McMissile is fighting Zundapp, who's using one of his ships to dispose of McMissile's weapons]
Professor Zundapp: Give it up, McMissile!
[McMissile uses his bombs on the ship's magnet and the ship blows up]
[Finn McMissile has just tricked the lemons into thinking they've killed him after escaping from the oil platform]
Grem: He's dead, Professor.
Professor Zundapp: Wunderbar. With Finn McMissile gone, who can stop us now?
[We cut to Mater driving along Route 66 just outside Radiator Springs]
Mater: Mater, Tow Mater - that's who - is here to help you!
Lightning McQueen: Mater, just cut to the chase.
Mater: Okay, it's him!
[Points to Sir Miles Axelrod]
Sir Miles Axlerod: What? Me? You got to be crazy.
Mater: [slowly moves towards him] I figured it out when I realized y'all attached this tickin' time bomb with windward bolts
[Camera briefly does a close up on the bolts]
Mater: . The same bolts that hold together that old British engine from the photograph. Holly, show that picture!
Holley Shiftwell: Okay
[holographically shows said photograph]
Mater: And then I remembered what they said about old British Engines, if there ain't no oil under 'em, there ain't no oil in 'em.
Sir Miles Axlerod: What is he talking about?
Mater: It was you leaking oil at the party in Japan. You just blamed it on me.
Sir Miles Axlerod: Electric cars don't use oil, you twit!
Mater: Then you're fakin' it! You didn't convert to no electric.
[moves closer and Sir Miles Axelrod starts to back away]
Mater: We pop that hood, we're gonna see that engine from that picture right there.
Sir Miles Axlerod: This lawry's crazy! He's gonna kill us all!
[back wheel slips off the edge of the stage, then he gets it back up]
Sir Miles Axlerod: Stay away!
Sir Miles Axlerod: But Sir Axelrod created the race, Mater. Why would he want to hurt anyone?
Mater: To make Allinol look bad so everyone would go back to usin' oil. I mean he said it himself with that disguised voice.
Sir Miles Axlerod: Disguised voice, what are you talking about? You're nuts, you are!
The Queen's Grandson: This is going nowhere fast, we really should go, Grandmother.
The Queen: One moment, I'd like to see where this is going.
[bomb is 30 seconds and counting]
Finn McMissile: Mater, he created Allinol.
Mater: Yeah, but what if he found that huge oil field just as the world was tryin' to find somethin' else? What if he came up with Allinol to make alternative fuel look bad?
[bomb is 19 seconds and counting]
Sir Miles Axlerod: What if? You're basing this on a what if?
Guards: All right, that's it, let's clear out!
[the Queen and the others in the stands start to drive away]
Sir Miles Axlerod: Wait, somebody save me! The lawry's crazy. Keep away you idiot!
Finn McMissile: Mater!
[bomb is 9 seconds and counting]
Holley Shiftwell: Mater!
Sir Miles Axlerod: Someone do something!
[everyone else braces themselves as the bomb is 3 seconds and counting]
Sir Miles Axlerod: You're insane, you are! DEACTIVATE!
[timer on bomb stops at 1 second with the message: VOICE ACCEPTED, DEACTIVATED, HAVE A NICE DAY, SIR AXELROD]
Mater: McQueen, they're gonna kill you!
Lightning McQueen: [as a crowd gathers around the television] Oh, it's the Italian Formula car. His name is...
Sally: [trilling the R's] Francesco Bernoulli. No wonder there's a crowd.
Lightning McQueen: Wait, why do you know his name? And don't say it like that. It's three syllables, not ten!
Rod 'Torque' Redline: Okay, McMissile. I'm here. It's time for the drop-off.
[In Porto Corsa, Professor Z has just been given orders about what to do with McQueen, who's decided to use Allinol in the final race]
Professor Z: Allinol must be finished for good. McQueen can NOT win the last race. Lightning McQueen must be KILLED.
Finn McMissile: [Captured with Holley in the Big Bentley clock] What are you doing?
Holley Shiftwell: Trying to turn back time. If I can just reverse the polarity...
Finn McMissile: Good job! Quick thinking, Holley!
Acer: Finn McMissile? But you're dead!
Finn McMissile: Then this shouldn't hurt at all!
[Finn McMissile sprays the fire extinguisher at Acer]
Grem: What are you laughing at?
Rod 'Torque' Redline: Well, I was wearing a disguise. You're stuck like that.
Alexander Hugo: [to Ivan] Gremlins. Man, those are some ugly cars; looks like someone stole their trunks!
Francesco Bernoulli: Ah, you heard it! Lightning McQueen prefers to be slow! Of course, this is not news to Francesco. When I want to go to sleep, I watch one of his races. After two laps, I am out cold!
[A fishing vessel is sailing on the open ocean at night, completely alone.]
Crabby: Alright buddy, we're here. Right where you paid me to bring you. Question is, why?
Finn McMissile: [comes out from the shadows on Crabby's stern deck] I'm looking for a car.
Crabby: A car? Ha! Hey, pal. You can't get any further away from land than out here.
Finn McMissile: Exactly where I want to be.
Crabby: Well I got news for you buddy. There's nobody out here but us.
Tony Trihull: [blows his horn] What are you doing out here?!
Crabby: What does it look like, genius? I'm crabbin'.
Tony Trihull: Well turn around... and go back where you came from.
Crabby: Yeah? And who's gonna make me? [Tony reveals his bow-mounted missile turret] All right! All right! Don't get your prop in a twist! [Crabby turns away and begins sailing back] What a jerk. Sorry, buddy. Looks like it's the end of the line. Buddy?
[Finn McMissile is suspended by four grappling hooks above the oil platform]
Grem: Hey, Professor Z! This is one of those British spies that we told you about!
Acer: Yeah, this one we caught sticking his bumper where it didn't belong!
Professor Zündapp: Agent Leland Turbo. [Leland's remains are revealed: he's been crushed into a cube. Finn gasps. A burst of flame behind Finn reveals his shadow on the platform below. Zundapp looks up and sees him] It's Finn McMissile! He's seen the camera! KILL HIM!
Mater: Mater, Tow Mater, that's who, is here to help ya. Hey, Otis!
Otis: Heh-hey, Mater. I... uh... oh, gosh. I'm so sorry. I thought I could make it this time, but... [Otis tries to start to start his engine, but can't.] Smooth like puddin', huh? [sighs] Who am I kiddin'? I'll always be a lemon.
Mater: Well, dad-gum, you're leakin' oil again. Must be yer gaskets. Hey, but look on the bright side. This is yer 10th tow this month, so that means it's on the house.
Otis: You're the only won that's nice to lemons like me, Mater.
Mater: Hey, don't sweat it. Shoot, these things happen to everybody, Otis.
Otis: But you never leak oil.
Mater: Yeah, but I ain't perfect. Don't tell nobody, but I think my rust is trying to show through.
[Francesco Bernoulli is a guest on Mel Dorado's TV show; Mater called in to argue with Bernoulli, and McQueen takes the phone.]
Lightning McQueen: [over the phone] Yeah, hi, this is Lightning McQueen.
Francesco Bernoulli: The Lightning McQueen, eh?!
Lightning McQueen: Look, I don't appreciate my best friend being insulted like that.
Francesco Bernoulli: McQueen, that was your best friend? Ohhh... There's a difference between you and Francesco! Francesco knows how good he is. He doesn't have to surround himself with tow trucks to prove it.
Lightning McQueen: You know, those are some strong words coming from a car that is so fragile.
Francesco Bernoulli: FRA-JILL-AY! HE CALLS-A FRANCESCO FRA-JILL-AY!? Not so fast, McQueen!
Lightning McQueen: "Not so fast." What is that? Your new motto?
Francesco Bernoulli: Motto?! [Rants and curses rapidly in Italian] ...RIDICULO!!
[Francesco continues his rant but gets gets muted by the TV censors, and storms off-camera]
Finn McMissile: Who are you with? FBI? CIA?
Mater: Let's just say I'm Triple-A affiliated.
Professor Zündapp: [after receiving orders from Miles Axlerod, the Lemon Mastermind] Of course. [to his fellow Lemons] Allinol must be finished for good. McQueen cannot win the last race. Lightning McQueen must be killed!
Mater: No! [accidentally reveals himself]
Professor Zündapp: IT'S THE AMERICAN SPY! [the Lemons all draw their weapons]
Mater's Computer: Gatling gun. Request acknowledged.
[two Gatling guns appear out of Mater's sides]
Mater: Shoot, I didn't mean...
Mater's Computer: Request acknowledged. [his guns fire madly, shooting everything in the room as the Lemons drive for cover. The force of the guns makes Mater back out of the room and onto the balcony]
Mater: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn't mean that kinda "shoot"!
Mater's Computer: Correction acknowledged. Deploying chute. [a parachute appears out of Mater's back and carries him into the air]