Tarzan Quotes (1999)

Tarzan Quotes (1999)

Tarzan: No matter where I go, you will always be my mother.

Kala: And you will always be in my heart.

Jane Porter: [Hanging from a tree] It can't get any worse, can it?

[it starts to rain]

Jane Porter: Obviously, it can.

Jane Porter: [after being caught in a tree with Tarzan] Now, you stay away from me. Like a very good wild man.

[Tarzan doesn't listen]

Jane Porter: You stay. I'm warning you... My father won't take kind to you.

[Tarzan is inches from her face] Jane Porter: Now, that's close ENOUGH.

[Tarzan touches her face]

Jane Porter: How dare you...

[Tarzan grabs her hand, as she tries to smack him, and he notices a tear in the tip of the finger of her glove. He stares and pulls off her glove and stares at her hand. He then puts his hand next to hers to show that he's human, too. He puts his head on her chest to hear her heartbeat. Once he hears it, he pulls her head to his chest so she can hear his heartbeat]

Jane Porter: Oh, dear. Oh, dear, oh, dear, OH, dear! Mmm. Yes, thank you.

[pulls away from Tarzan's chest]

Jane Porter: It's a lovely heartbeat. It's very nice.

Tarzan: [imitating Jane] It's very nice.

Jane Porter: [thinking as though he's talking about her hair] Oh, thank you. I can't do a thing with it in this humidity and - you do speak? And all this time I thought you were this big, wild, quiet, silent, person-thing! Hmm! And why didn't you tell me? I mean, I must say I'm rather curious of who you are. I'd love to-

[Tarzan shuts her mouth with his fingers]

Tarzan: [grunts and points to himself] Tarzan.

[Jane looks confused]

Tarzan: Tar-zan!

Jane Porter: Tar-zan?

[Tarzan grunts happily]

Jane Porter: Oh, I see!

Tarzan: [points to self] Tarzan.

[points to Jane]

Tarzan: Oh, I see.

Jane Porter: No, no, no. No. Amph. I'm Jane.

Tarzan: [mimicking her tone and gestures] No, no, no. No. Amph. I'm Jane.

Jane Porter: No, no. Jane. Tarzan. Jane.

Tarzan: [points to Jane] Jane.

Jane Porter: Exactly.

Clayton: Hiding, are we? Good! I could use a challenge, because after hunting you, gathering up your little ape family will be all too easy!

[after being returned to her camp by Tarzan] Jane Porter: Daddy, they took my boot!

Terk: What kind of animal are you?

Tantor: You know, I've been thinking lately that Tarzan may be some sub-species of elephant.

Terk: Are you kidding... What are you talking about?

Tantor: I mean, think about it. He enjoys a peanut, I enjoy a peanut...

Terk: He looks nothing like you!

Tarzan: Kerchak, forgive me.

Kerchak: No. Forgive me, for not understanding that you have always been one of us. Our family will look to you now.

Tarzan: No. Kerchak.

Kerchak: Take care of them, my son. Take care of them.

Jane Porter: [Describing how Tarzan walks] He bent his elbows out, and he walked like this.

Professor Porter: Oh, I see! Just like Aunt Isabel.

Young Tantor: Are you sure this water's sanitary? It looks questionable to me!

[Steps into water, then yanks foot back out]

Tantor's Mom: It's fine, honey.

Young Tantor: But, Mom! What about bacteria?

Tantor's Mom: Tantor, can't you see Mummy's talking?

Clayton: Professor, you are here to find gorillas. Not indulge some girlish fantasy!

Young Tarzan: I'll be the best ape ever!

Tantor: That sounded like Tarzan. It sounded like - like he was in trouble.

Terk: Yeah? Why doesn't he get his new friends to help him? I don't care.

Tantor: That's it! I've had it with you and your emotional constipation! Tarzan needs us, and we're gonna help him! You got that?

[places Terk on his back]

Tantor: Now pipe down, and hang on tight! We've got a boat to catch.

[Tantor charges off a cliff and into the ocean]

Tantor: I've never felt so alive!

Terk: Good, 'cause I'm gonna kill you!

Kerchak: You came back.

Tarzan: I came home.

[Jane draws Tarzan on the chalkboard]

Professor Porter: Shall I, ahem, leave you and the blackboard alone for a moment?

Professor Porter: Oh, Janie Jane! What an amazing discovery! A man with no language, no human behavior...

Jane Porter: And no respect for personal boundaries.

Professor Porter: How do you mean?

Jane Porter: [gets extremely close to Professor Porter] He was this close to me, daddy, just staring at me.

[Goes back to blackboard and finishes drawing of Tarzan]

Jane Porter: He was confused at first, as if he had never seen another human before. His eyes were intense... and focused, and... I've never seen eyes like those before.

Professor Porter: Oh. Shall I - ahem - leave you and the blackboard alone for a moment?

Jane Porter: Oh, daddy, stop it.

Jane Porter: Oh, Tarzan, you have no idea what's in store for you. You're going to see the world, and all kinds of people will want to meet you. Leaders, scientists, writers.

Professor Porter: Yes, Darwin and Kipling. Queen Victoria!

Jane Porter: I haven't met her, but I hear she's awfully nice.

Professor Porter: Oh, those magnificent creatures, shivering in cages. What is this world coming to?

[He hits his fist on the wall; suddenly the ship shifts to the side, from Tantor getting on board]

Professor Porter: Oh, by Jove. Don't know my own strength.

Kala: Close your eyes. Now forget what you see.

Kala: [puts Tarzan's hand to his chest] What do you feel?

Young Tarzan: My heart.

Kala: [puts Tarzan's head by her chest] Come here.

Young Tarzan: Your heart.

Kala: See? We're exactly the same.

Jane Porter: I was saved! I was saved by a flying wild man in a loincloth.

Clayton: Even if you hadn't grown up a savage, you'd be lost. There are no trails through a woman's heart.

[Terk and Tarzan are wrestling] Tantor: Whoa! Okay. It's all fun and games till someone loses an eye.

[Tarzan sneaks up behind her to try and scare her]

Kala: Don't even think about it.

Tarzan: How'd you know it was me?

Kala: I'm your mother. I know everything. Now, where have you been?

Tarzan: I thought you knew everything.

Kerchak: I said he could stay. That doesn't make him my son.

Terk: Can you believe that guy? Drops us like a newborn giraffe - kerplop! - then waltzes in and expects us to...

Tarzan: Terk, I'm asking you as a friend.

[Looks at Terk with big, soulful eyes]

Terk: Oh, with the face and the eyes... All right! All right! But you'd better not make me do anything stupid.

[Cut to Terk in Jane's dress]

Terk: I'm going to kill him!

Clayton: If I can teach a parrot to sing "God Save the Queen," I can certainly teach this savage a thing or two.

Young Tantor: Mom! Are you sure this water's sanitary? It looks questionable to me!

Terk: What kind of primitive beasts are responsible for this mess?

Tantor: Oh, Terk, I've never seen him so happy.

Terk: Eh, I give it a week.

Tarzan: Tarzan. Tar-zan.

Jane Porter: Tarzan. Oh, I see!

Tarzan: Oh, I see!

Tarzan: [points at himself] Tarzan.

Tarzan: [points at Jane] Oh, I see.

Jane Porter: No, no, no. No.

Jane Porter: [clears throat, points at herself] I'm Jane.

Tarzan: No, no, no. No.

Tarzan: [clears throat, points at himself] I'm Jane.

Jane Porter: No, no.

Jane Porter: [points at herself] Jane.

Jane Porter: [points at Tarzan] Tarzan.

Jane Porter: [points at herself] Jane.

Tarzan: Jane.

Jane Porter: Exactly.

Professor Porter: Look at him, Jane. Moves like an ape, but looks like a man. He could be the missing link!

Clayton: Or our link to the gorillas.

Clayton: Have we met?

Tantor: [Terk is dressed in Jane's dress to lure Kerchak away] Actually, I thought that dress was rather slimming on you.

Terk: Oh, really? I thought it was a little revealing.

Tantor: What's everybody lookin' at?

Tantor: [sees the camp] Ooh! The horror! It's gruesome! Hide me!

Terk: Pull yourself together. You're embarrassing me. These things aren't alive.

Tantor: I knew that.

Professor Porter: [after telling Jane to stay with Tarzan] What am I doing? Captain! Tell them you never found us! After all, people get lost in the jungle all the time!

[jumps out of the boat]

Jane Porter: [trying to coax a baby baboon to give her back a drawing] All right, enough of this. I want that paper on the count of three. One, two... Oh, look! Bananas!

[as the baboon looks away, Jane snatches the drawing away]

Jane Porter: Ha ha! I can't believe you fell for that one!

[the baby baboon starts crying]

Jane Porter: Now, now, don't give me those crocodile tears. What would your parents have to say?

[suddenly she hears a growl; turns around to face a band of angry baboons]

Jane Porter: See? I told you they'd be cross. Go easy on him, children will be children.

[Tarzan takes Clayton's gun and aims it at him]

Clayton: Go ahead. Shoot me.


Clayton: Be a man.

[a shot is heard, but not from the gun; it's Tarzan mimicking a gunshot]

Tarzan: Not a man like you!

Tantor: [as Tarzan is leaving on the boat] Tarzan!

Terk: We're too late! I can't believe it! If only you had asked for directions.

Tantor: We didn't even get to say goodbye.

Terk: Well, good riddance! Who needs you? Go on, get out of here, bald boy! You ingrate! You bald ingrate!

[Throws a rock at the water]

Terk: Go out and rot, for all I care!

[to Tantor]

Terk: What are you looking at?

Tantor: I'm gonna miss him, too.

Clayton: Sorry for the rude welcome, but I couldn't have you making a scene when we put your furry friends in their cages.

Tarzan: Why?

Clayton: Why? For 300 pound sterling a head. Actually, I have you to thank, old boy. Couldn't have done it without you.

Ape Boy: Hurry up, Terk!

Mungo: Last one there's a dung beetle!

Terk: Yeah, first one's gotta eat it!

Young Tantor: [Sees Tarzan swimming] Piranha! It's a piranha!

Tantor's Mother: Tantor, there are no piranhas in Africa.

Elephant #1: Don't tell the kid that. Of course there are piranhas in Africa.

Elephant #2: No, she's right. They're native to South America.

Elephant #1: Oh, come on, now.

Elephant #2: You think I would be standing here if they were?

[Meanwhile, Tarzan is trying to get a hair from the first elephant's tail]

Young Tantor: Look out, he's right behind you!

Tantor's Mother: For the last time, honey, there are no piranhas in...

Elephant #1: My butt! Something's got my butt!

Jane Porter: [Tarzan has saved her from the baboons] Put me down! Put me down!

[the baboons approach]

Jane Porter: No, pick me up, pick me up, pick me up!

Clayton: Ah, yes. I remember you. I think this one would be better off stuffed.

Kerchak: Everyone, we will avoid the strangers. Do not let them see you and do not seek them out.

Tarzan: They mean us no harm.

Kerchak: Tarzan, I don't know that.

Tarzan: But I do. I have spent time with them.

Kerchak: You may be willing to risk our safety, but I'm not.

Tarzan: Why are you threatened by anyone different from you?

Kerchak: Protect this family and stay away from them.

[Tarzan sulks away]

Kala: Tarzan, for once listen to Kerchak.

Tarzan: Why didn't you tell me there were creatures who look like me?

Jane Porter: And there were gorillas.

Professor Porter, Clayton: Gorillas?

Clayton: You found the gorillas? Where, Jane? Where?

Jane Porter: He left with them.

Professor Porter: Who did? Who?

Jane Porter: Tarzan.

Clayton: Tarzan?

Jane Porter: The ape man.

[a gunshot breaks the jungle silence]

Tarzan: What was that?

Tantor: It wasn't me, I swear.

Jane Porter: [after Clayton fires in the air] Mr. Clayton, please. What if it's a gorilla?

Clayton: It's no gorilla.

Clayton: [Draws a crude gorilla on Jane's chalkboard and points to it with the chalk] Gorilla.

Tarzan: [Takes the chalk and examines it] Gor-illa.

Professor Porter: [Excited] Oh! Oh! He's got it!

Tarzan: Gor-illa!

[Proceeds to scribble wildly on the chalkboard]

Tarzan: Gorrrrr-illllla!

Professor Porter: Oh, perhaps not...

[after being rescued back to camp by Tarzan]

Jane Porter: Oh, my goodness! Daddy, I was walking. There was... was a little baby, little baby monkey, and I drew a picture!

Professor Porter: Yes, go on.

Jane Porter: Suddenly, the monkey starts crying.

Professor Porter: Oh, poor thing.

Jane Porter: But, I turn around and there's a whole FLEET OF THEM. An ARMY of monkeys! A huge tree full of monkeys, screaming at me!

[imitates a monkey screaming at him]

Professor Porter: [laughing at her] She's very good at this!

Jane Porter: Terrified! I was terrified! Suddenly, I was swinging, on a vine, in the air! Swinging, in the air!

Professor Porter: With the monkeys!

Jane Porter: I was in the air! And then, I was all surrounded!

Professor Porter: What did you do?

Jane Porter: And, daddy! They took my boot!

Professor Porter: Your boot- those are the ones I bought you.

Jane Porter: And I was SAVED. I was saved by a flying, wild man in a loincloth.

Professor Porter: Loincloth? Good lord.

Clayton: What is she talking about?

Professor Porter: I have no idea. She takes after her mother, you know. She came up with stories like that. Not about men in loincloths of course.

Kala: Don't even think about it.

Tarzan: How'd you know it was me?

Kala: I'm you mother. I know everything. Now, we have you been?

Tarzan: I thought you knew everything.

[Terk pounces on him]

Terk: Hey, Auntie K! You look remarkably groomed today!

Tarzan: Terk, all you have to do is get Kerchak out of the way.

Terk: What?!

Tantor: Well, I'd be happy to get Kerch--

Terk: [Grabs Tantor's trunk to shut him up] Hey! Shut your trunk, and get me outta here! [Tantor does so] Can you believe that guy? Drops us like a newborn giraffe - kerplop! - now waltzes in here and expects us to just--

[Tarzan lands in front of her]

Tarzan: Terk, I'm asking you as a friend.

Terk: [Grimacing at Tarzan's pleading face] Argh... Aah... with the face and the eyes and the... AH! All right! But don't make me do anything embarrassing.

[Cut to Terk bursting out of the bushes in Jane's dress] I'm gonna kill him!

Tantor: [with his trunk disguised has Professor Porter] Actually, I thought that dress was rather slimming on you.

Terk: Oh, really? I thought it was a little revealing...

[they both hear Kerchak's roar and run]

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