Monsters University Quotes (2013)

Monsters University Quotes (2013)

Mike Wazowski: I've been waiting for this my whole life! I'm gonna be a scarer!

Squishy: We have cake!

Sulley: I act scary, Mike. But most of the time, I'm terrified.

Mike Wazowski: How come you never told me that before?

Sulley: Because, we weren't friends before.

Squishy: I never stayed up this late in my life!

Dean Hardscrabble: You did what?

Sulley: My team had nothing to do with it. It was all me. I cheated.

Dean Hardscrabble: I expect you off campus by tomorrow.

Sulley: [in dismay] Yes ma'am.

Dean Hardscrabble: You're a disgrace to this university... and your family name.

Johnny: Enjoy the attention while it lasts, boys. After you lose, no one will remember you.

Mike Wazowski: Maybe. But when you lose, no one will let you forget it.

Chet: Oh, boy. That is a good point.

Squishy: Mom, go!

Sherri: Seatbelts!

[Everyone buckles their seatbelts]

Squishy: Okay, go!

Sherri: Does anyone want gum?

Squishy: [yelling] Just drive!

Young Mike: I found a nickel! Sure wish I had pockets.

Squishy: [grabs one of Sulley's hands] Your hands are as big as my face!

Terri Perry: [referring to Sulley] He's like a mountain, with fur!

Sulley: Oh, come on. I don't even work out.

Art: Yeah, me neither. I don't wanna get too big.


Art: You don’t really know someone unless you’ve cried with them.

Sulley: Were you kissing my hand?

Mike Wazowski: [laughs] No! And what about with all your shedding?

Sulley: I don't shed.

Mike Wazowski: Really?

[punches the mattress of the top bunk and Sulley's hair falls everywhere]

Sulley: You don't study scaring, you just do it.

Art: I can't go back to jail!

Slug: I can't be late on the first day!

[Starts huffing and puffing as he crawls at a slow rate]

Mike Wazowski: Um, h... hello? Fella

[as he and Sully walk down the basement into a candlelit are, where O.K fraternity surround it, wearing black clocks]

Don: Do you, pledge your souls to the Oozma Kappa brotherhood.

Mike Wazowski: [Terri and Terry hit Mike with a cricket bat] OW!

Terry: Do you swear to keep secret.

Terri: All that you learn

Art: No matter, how horrifying.

Sulley: [Squishy hit Sulley with cricket bat] Hey!

Squishy: Will take the scared oath of the...

[initiation interrupted by someone, turning on the lights]

Don: For crying out loud.

Ms. Squibbles: Sweetie, turn the lights on when your down here. You're going ruin your eyes.


Ms. Squibbles: Oh Scary, well go on. Just pretend that I'm not here.

[turns off half the lights, and walk downstairs to the washing machine]

Squishy: This is my mom's house. Do you promise to look out for your brothers?

[Mrs. Squibbles turns on the laundry dial loudly]

Squishy: No what the peril?


[Mike and Sulley are being escorted out of the door lab by the CDA after causing the door to explode with the big scare]

Squishy: What's going to happen to them?

Roz: That's for the university professor to decide, but I can assure you we'll always be watching these two. Always watching.

Mike Wazowski: I'm officially a college student!

Art: I have an extra toe. Not with me, of course.

Sulley: I'm gonna wipe the floor with that little know-it-all.

[Mike and Sulley are working in the mail room at Monsters, Inc.]

Yeti: Alright, newbies. Quit clowning around. I'll have you know that tampering with the mail is punishable by banishment.

Mike Wazowski: My chances are just as good as yours

Sulley: You're not even in the same league with me.

Mike Wazowski: Just wait, hotshot. I'm gonna scare circles around you this year.

Dean Hardscrabble: I'm here to make good scarers great, not make mediocre scarers less mediocre.

Professor Knight: Let's see that slobber! Drool is a tool. Use it!

Don: Want to join Oozma Kappa?

Squishy: We've got cake.

Greek Council VP: Believe me, you don't want to touch this bad boy!

Art: I want to touch it.

Mike Wazowski: Squishy. We're not gonna lose, because we have everything we need to win right here.

[points to his chest]

Squishy: [smiling] Heart.

Mike Wazowski: No, me! I'm gonna win the race for us.

Dean Hardscrabble: Mr Wazowski, what you lack simply cannot be taught. You're just not scary.

Sulley: [to Mike] You're not scary. Not even a little bit; but you are fearless, and if Dean Hardscrabble can't see that then she can just...

Dean Hardscrabble: [Interrupting] I can just... what? Careful, Mister Sullivan, I was just starting to warm up to you.

Sulley: ...Sorry.

Dean Hardscrabble: You two have managed to accomplish something together no one ever has; you surprised me.

Randy: That's the last time I lose to you, Sullivan!

Sulley: James P. Sullivan.

Mike Wazowski: Mike Wazowski.

Squishy: [to Sulley] Your hands are as big as my face!

Dean Hardscrabble: Scariness is the true measure of a monster. If you are not scary, what kind of a monster are you? It's my job to make great students greater, not making mediocre students less mediocre. That is why, at the end of the semester, there will be a final exam. Fail that exam, and you're out of the scaring program. I should hope you're all properly inspired.

Randy: Hey there, I'm your roomie, Randy Boggs, Scaring Major!

Mike: [laughs] Mike Wazowski, Scaring Major.

Randy: I can tell we're gonna be best chums, Mike. Take whatever bed you want, I wanted you to have first dibs. [a monster student bumps into him, making him yelp and turn completely invisible except for the glasses]

Mike: [gasps] You just disappeared.

Randy: [turns visible again] Sorry. If I do that in scaring class, I'll be a joke.

Mike: No, it's totally great, you gotta use it.

Randy: Really?

Mike: Yeah, but lose the glasses, they give it away.

[heads into his room]

[Randy removes his glasses, and his eyes squint to the shape we all know and grunts approvingly.]

Chet: Slow down Squirt, this party is scare students only.

Johnny: Oh, I'm sorry, killer, but you might wanna hang out with someone little more of your speed. They look fun!

[Cut on Oozma Kappa members holding a stand]

Don: Oh, hey there! Wanna join Oozma Kappa?

Squishy: We have cake!

[a huge monster passes by and swallows the cake whole. Not a second later, a balloon deflates and falls on Squishy's head]

Johnny: Go crazy. [leaves with ROR and Sulley]

Mike: [stunned] Is that a joke?

Johnny: [sighs, annoyed] Sulley, talk to your friend.

Sulley: [to Johnny] Well, he’s not really my friend, but sure... [to Mike] You heard him, this is a party for scare students.

Mike: I am a scare student.

Sulley: I mean, for scare students who actually, you know, have a chance.

Chet: Ah, snap!

[the ROR brothers start laughing]

Mike: [narrows his eye] My chances are just as good as yours.

Sulley: You’re not even in the same league with me.

Mike: Just wait, hotshot. I’m gonna scare circles around you this year.

Dean Hardscrabble: Mr. Wazowski, I’m a 5-year-old girl on a farm in Kansas afraid of lightning. Which scare do you use?

Mike: [confused] Should I go up on the...?

Dean Hardscrabble: Which scare do you use?

Mike: That is a shadow approach with a crackle holler.

Dean Hardscrabble: Demonstrate.

Mike: [inhales deeply]

Dean Hardscrabble: That's enough. Thank you.

Mike: I didn't get to sh...

Dean Hardscrabble: I've seen enough. [to Sulley] I am a seven-year-old boy...

Sulley: [roars loudly]

Dean Hardscrabble: I wasn't finished.

Sulley: I don’t need to know any of that stuff to scare.

Dean Hardscrabble: That “stuff” would have informed you that this particular child is afraid of snakes. So a roar wouldn’t make him scream, it would make him cry, alerting his parents, exposing the monster world, destroying life as we know it, and of course, we can’t have that, so I’m afraid I can not recommend that you continue in the scaring program. Good day.

[as Sully and Mikey leave]

Dean Hardscrabble: Good luck.

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