Alice in Wonderland Quotes (1951)


Alice in Wonderland Quotes (1951)


Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on TumblrPin on Pinterest0Share on Google+0Share on Reddit0

Alice: I'm afraid I can't explain myself, because I'm not myself you know.


Alice: In my world, you wouldn't say 'meow', you'd say, 'Yes, Miss Alice.'


Orchid: To put it bluntly, a weed.


Alice: Of all the silly nonsense, this is the stupidest tea party I've ever been to in all my life.


White Rabbit: Her Imperial Highness, Her Grace, Her Excellency, Her Royal Majesty, the Queen of Hearts!

[Crowd cheers]

White Rabbit: ... And the King.

Voice in crowd: Hooray!


White Rabbit: [singing] I'm late / I'm late / For a very important date. / No time to say "Hello, Goodbye". / I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.


Alice: Well, it all started when I was sitting on the river bank with Dinah.

March Hare: Very interesting - Who's Dinah? [Pants lasciviously]

Alice: Oh, Dinah's my cat. You see....

Dormouse: Cat? CAT!


King of Hearts: Rule 42: All persons more than a mile high must leave the court immediately.

Alice: I am not a mile high, and I'm not leaving.

Queen of Hearts: Sorry. Rule 42, you know.


Cheshire Cat: Oh, by the way, if you'd really like to know, he went that way.

Alice: Who did?

Cheshire Cat: The White Rabbit.

Alice: He did?

Cheshire Cat: He did what?

Alice: Went that way.

Cheshire Cat: Who did?

Alice: The White Rabbit.

Cheshire Cat: What rabbit?

Alice: But didn't you just say - I mean - Oh, dear.

Cheshire Cat: Can you stand on your head?

Alice: Oh!


Queen of Hearts: And who is this?

King of Hearts: Let me see, my dear. It's certainly not a heart. Do you suppose it's a club?


Alice: [after the Walrus and the Carpenter] That was a very sad story.

Tweedle Dee: Aye, but there's a moral to it.

Alice: Oh, a very good moral, if you happen to be an oyster.


Alice: I was sitting on the riverbank with uh... with you know who...

Mad Hatter: I DO? [chuckles]

Alice: I mean my C-A-T.

Mad Hatter: Teeeea?

March Hare: [slices a tea cup in half] Just half a cup, if you don't mind.


Alice's Sister: Alice. Will you kindly pay attention to your history lesson?

Alice: I'm sorry, but how can one possibly pay attention to a book with no pictures in it?

Alice's Sister: My dear child, there are a great many good books in this world without pictures.

Alice: In this world, perhaps, but in my world, the books would be nothing but pictures.

Alice's Sister: Your world? Huh! What nonsense.

Alice: [getting inspiration] Nonsense?

Alice's Sister: Once more, from the beginning.

Alice: [to her cat] That's it, Dinah. If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrariwise, what it is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be it would. You see?

Dinah: Meow.

Alice: In my world, you wouldn't say "meow." You'd say, "Yes, Miss Alice."

Dinah: Meow.

Alice: Oh, but you would. You'd be just like people, Dinah. And all the other animals too.


Mad Hatter: A very merry Un-Birthday to you!


Queen of Hearts: Now, where do you come from?

Alice: Well, I'm trying to find my way home...

Queen of Hearts: Your way? All ways here are my ways!

Alice: Yes, I know, but I was just thinking...

Queen of Hearts: Curtsy while you're thinking. It saves time.

Alice: [curtsying] Yes, Your Majesty, but I just wanted to ask you...

Queen of Hearts: I'll ask the questions! Do you play croquet?

Alice: Why, yes, Your Majesty.

Queen of Hearts: Then let the game begin!


Mad Hatter: Do you care for tea?

Alice: Why, yes. I'm very fond of tea.

March Hare: If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!


White Rabbit: Your Majesty, members of the jury, loyal subjects... and the King... the prisoner at the bar stands accused of enticing Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts, into a game of croquet, thereby and with malice of forethought, molesting, tormenting, and otherwise annoying our beloved...

Queen of Hearts: Never mind all that! Get to the part where I lose my temper.

White Rabbit: ...thereby causing the Queen to lose her temper.


Cheshire Cat: [singing] 'Twas brilig, and the slithy toves / Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: / All mimsy were the borogroves, / And the mome raths outgrabe.

Alice: Now where do you suppose...?

Cheshire Cat: Lose something?

Alice: [turns around to find just the Cat's smile talking to her] Oh my! oh, no no, I was just... uh never mind.

Cheshire Cat: Oh, that's quite all right. One moment please. [two eyes drop down on top of the mouth and the full cat form appears] Second chorus. 'Twas brilig, and the slithy toves / Did gyre and gimble in the wabe

Alice: Why, why you're a cat!

Cheshire Cat: A Cheshire Cat. [starts to disappear] All mimsy were the borogroves...

Alice: Oh wait!

Cheshire Cat: [reappears] There you are! Third chorus...

Alice: Oh, no, no. I was just wondering if you could help me find my way.

Cheshire Cat: Well that depends on where you want to get to.

Alice: Oh, it really doesn't matter, as long as...

Cheshire Cat: Then it really doesn't matter which way you go.


Cheshire Cat: You know? We could make her really angry! Shall we try?

Alice: Oh, no, no!

Cheshire Cat: Oh, but it's loads of fun!


Alice: When I get home I shall write a book about this place... If I ever do get home.


Alice: [as a giant] And as for you... Your Majesty! Your Majesty indeed! Why, you're not a queen, [shrinking] But just a - a fat, pompous, bad tempered old ty...! [normal size] Tyrant.

Queen of Hearts: [giggles] And uh, just what were you saying, my dear?

Cheshire Cat: Why, she simply said that you're a fat, pompous, bad tempered old tyrant! [chuckles]


Queen of Hearts: Now then, are you ready for your sentence?

Alice: But there has to be a verdict first.

Queen of Hearts: Sentence first! Verdict afterwards.

Alice: But that just isn't the way.

Queen of Hearts: [shouting] All ways are...!

Alice: ...your ways, your Majesty.


[the Caterpillar has called a very frustrated Alice back so he can finish the conversation]

Alice: Well?

Caterpillar: Keep your temper.

Alice: Is that all?

Caterpillar: No. "Exaketededly" what is your problem?

Alice: Well its exak... exact... Its precisely this. I should like to be a little larger, sir.

Caterpillar: Why?

Alice: Well, after all, three inches is such a wretched height, and...

Caterpillar: [suddenly angry] I am "exaketededly" three inches high, and it is a very good height, in-deed!

Alice: But I'm not used to it. And you needn't... shout!


King of Hearts: What do you know about this unfortunate affair?

March Hare: Nothing.

Queen of Hearts: Nothing whatever?

March Hare: Nothing whatever!

Queen of Hearts: [shouts] That's very important! Jury, write that down!


Bird in the Tree: A serpent! Help! Help! A serpent, a serpent!

Alice: But please! Please!

Bird in the Tree: Off with you! Shoo! Shoo! Go away! Serpent! Serpeeeent!

Alice: I'm not a serpent!

Bird in the Tree: You? Indeed? Then just what are you?

Alice: I'm just a little girl.

Bird in the Tree: Little? Little? [laughs]

Alice: Well, I am... I mean, I was.

Bird in the Tree: And I suppose you don't like eggs, either?

Alice: Yes, I do, but, but, but...

Bird in the Tree: I knew it! I knew it! Serpent! Serpeeeent!

Alice: Oh, for goodness sake!


Alice: [after eating a mushroom] I'm tired of being only three inches high. [suddenly grows out of control] Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!


Queen of Hearts: So where were you going, my child?

Alice: Well, I was on my way home and...

Queen of Hearts: YOUR WAY? ALWAYS GO MY WAY!


Queen of Hearts: Who's been painting my roses red? WHO'S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED? /Who dares to taint / With vulgar paint / The royal flower bed? / For painting my roses red / Someone will lose his head.

Card Painter: Oh no, Your Majesty, please! It's all his fault!

Card Painter: Not me, your grace! The ace, the ace!

Queen of Hearts: You?

Card Painter: No, two!

Queen of Hearts: The two, you say?

Card Painter: Not me! The three!

Queen of Hearts: That's enough! Off with their heads!


Doorknob: D'ooooh!

Alice: Oh! I beg your pardon...

Doorknob: Whew. Quite all right, but you did give me quite a turn.

Alice: You see, I was following...

Doorknob: Rather good, what? Doorknob? Turn? Since one good turn deserves another, what can I do for you?

Cheshire Cat: All ways here you see, are the QUEEN'S WAYS!

Alice: But I've never met any queen.

Cheshire Cat: You haven't? You ha-VEN'T? Oh, but you must! She'll be mad about you, simply mad! [chuckles, then rolls over and almost disappears] The romeraths' outgrabe...

Alice: Please, please! H-How can I find her?

Cheshire Cat: Well, some go this way, and some go that way. But as for me, myself, personally, I prefer the short-cut.


Alice: Oh, Dinah. It's just a rabbit with a waistcoat-- and a watch!

Rabbit: Oh, my fur and whiskers! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!

Alice: Now this is curious. What could a rabbit possibly be late for? [running after him] Please, sir!

Rabbit: I'm late, I'm late. For a very important date. No time to say hello. Goodbye. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.


Alice: Oh, Cheshire Cat! It's you!

Cheshire Cat: Whom did you expect? The White Rabbit perchance?

Alice: [crying] Oh, no, no, no. I-I-I'm through with white rabbits. I want to go home! [blows nose] But I can't find my way.

Cheshire Cat: Naturally. That's because you have no way. All ways here, you see, are the QUEEN'S WAYS!!

Alice: But I've never met any Queen.

Cheshire Cat: You haven't? You haven't?! Oh, but you must! She'll be mad about you. Simply mad.


Alice: I'll find something useful to do with my life.


Alice: Ohhh...... [gets tickled by the Pink Flamingo and starts laughing and then pounds the flamingo repeatedly on the ground] Stop!

Queen of Hearts: Oh, of all of the impossible......

Alice: Do you want us BOTH to lose our heads?! Pink Flamingo: Uh-huh.

Alice: Well, I don't!


Queen of Hearts: Off with his head!

King of Hearts: Off with his head. Off with his head. By order of the Queen. Uh, you heard what she said.


The Rose: Girls! We shall sing "Golden Afternoon". That's about all of us.


Alice's sister: Alice... Alice... will you kindly pay attention and recite your lesson?

Alice: [waking up after escaping the mob] Hm? Oh. Oh, uh, how doth the little crocodile improve each shining tail and pour the waters of the...

Alice's sister: Alice, what are you talking about?

Alice: Oh. I'm sorry, but you see, the Caterpillar said...

Alice's sister: Caterpillar? Oh, for goodness sakes. Alice, I... Oh, well. Come along, it's time for tea.


[Alice reaches the door to escape from the mob]

Doorknob: [tries to open the door] D'oh! I'm - still locked, you know!

Alice: [in horror] But the queen! I simply must get out!

Doorknob: [chuckles] But you are outside.

Alice: [releases her grip on the Doorknob] What?

Doorknob: [opens his mouth] See for yourself.

[Alice sees through his mouth and sees herself asleep with Dinah also sleeping on her lap by a tree in a beautiful meadow]

Alice: Why - why that's me! I'm asleep!

Queen of Hearts: [shouting from a distance, advancing toward Alice along with a mob of other characters] Don't let her get away! Off with her head!

Alice: [in terror, through the Doorknob's mouth] Alice, wake up! Please, wake up, Alice!

Queen of Hearts: [comes closer with the rest of the mob] Off with her head!

Alice: Alice! Please, wake up, Alice!

[as the mob draws nearer, the screen goes into swirling multicolor until it shows Alice sleeping by the tree]

Alice: [voiceover] Alice! Alice! Alice!

Alice's sister: [changes to her sister's] Alice! Alice! Will you kindly pay attention and recite your lesson?


Caterpillar: By the way, I have a few more helpful hints. One side will make you grow taller...

Alice: One side of what?

Caterpillar: ...and the other side will make you grow shorter.

Alice: The other side of what?

Caterpillar: The mushroom, of course!


March Hare: Start at the beginning. Mad Hatter: Yes, yes. And when you come to the end...[chuckles] STOP. See?


Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum: [singing together] How do ya do and shake hands, shake hands, shake hands. How do ya do and shake hands and state your name and business. [both spoken] That's manners!


Alice: [turning down an offer for a cup of tea] I'm sorry, but I just haven't the time!

March Hare: The time! The time! Who's got the time?


Alice: [drinks from bottle] Mmm... tastes like cherry tart. [shrinks down] Custard. [shrinks down] Pineapple. [shrinks down] Roast turkey. [now at minimum size] Goodness! What did I do?

Doorknob: [chuckles] You almost went out like a candle!

Alice: But look, I'm just the right size!

Doorknob: Oh - no use. [laughs] I forgot to tell you. [laughs] I'm locked! [laughs]

Alice: Oh, no!

Doorknob: But of course, you've got the key, so...

Alice: What key?

Doorknob: Now, don't tell me you've left it up there!


Alice's sister: [reading from a history book] "... leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the Earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand..." Alice.

[camera zooms out to show Alice sitting in a tree, playing with Dinah and making a chain of daisies]

Alice: Hmm? Oh, I'm listening.

Alice's sister: "And even Stigand, the archbishop of Canterbury, agreed to meet with William and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was moderate."

[Alice laughs as her daisy crown falls on her sister's face]


Mad Hatter: [after "fixing" the White Rabbit's watch] Two days slow, that's what it is.


Queen of Hearts: [after the Queen of Hearts is hit in the head and covered in the table cloth] Someone's head IS GOING TO ROLL FOR THIS!


Caterpillar: Who are you?


White Rabbit: We need a lazard with a liddle... a lad... can you help us?

Bill: At your service, gov'nor.

Dodo: Bill, my lad. Have you ever been down a chimney?

Bill: Why, gov'nor, I've been down more chimneys...

Dodo: Excellent, excellent. Now just hop down the chimney and pull that monster out of there.

Bill: Righto, gov'nor... Monster? Aaaaah!


Queen of Hearts: Off with their heads.


March Hare: I have an excellent idea, let's change the subject.


March Hare: There's only one way to stop a mad watch.


Mad Hatter: Would you like a little more tea?

Alice: Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more.

March Hare: Ah, you mean you can't very well take less.

Mad Hatter: Yes. You can always take more than nothing.


Dodo: Ahoy, and other nautical expressions!


Dormouse: Twinkle twinkle, little bat / How I wonder what you're at? / Up above the world you fly / Like a tea tray in the sky.


Tweedle Dum: If you think we're waxworks, you ought to pay, you know.

Tweedle Dee: Contrariwise, if you think we're alive you ought to speak to us.

Tweedle Dum, Tweedle Dee: That's logic.


Alice: Well, when one's lost, I suppose it's good advice to stay where you are until someone finds you. But who'd ever think to look for me here? [sigh] Good advice. If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.


Dodo: I say, you'll never get dry that way.

Alice: Get dry?

Dodo: Have to run with the others. First rule of a caucus race, you know.


Alice: It would be so nice if something would make sense for a change.


Doorknob: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.


Daisy: What kind of a garden do you come from?

Alice: Oh, I don't come from any garden.

Daisy: Do you suppose she's a wildflower?


Alice: If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?


White Rabbit: [singing] I'm late / I'm late / For a very important date. / No time to say "Hello, Goodbye". / I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.


[Alice falls down the rabbit hole and her dress poofs up like a parachute]

Alice: Well, after this I should think nothing of falling down stairs.


[Alice falls down the rabbit hole and her dress poofs up like a parachute]

Alice: Well, after this I should think nothing of falling down stairs.


Alice: If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?


Walrus: The time has come, my little friends, to talk of other things / Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings / And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings / Calloo, Callay, come run away / With the cabbages and kings.


Cheshire Cat: If I were looking for a white rabbit, I'd ask the Mad Hatter.

Alice: The Mad Hatter? Oh, no no no...

Cheshire Cat: Or, you could ask the March Hare, in that direction.

Alice: Oh, thank you. I think I'll see him...

Cheshire Cat: Of course, he's mad, too.

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.

Cheshire Cat: Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here.

[laughs maniacally; starts to disappear]

Cheshire Cat: You may have noticed that I'm not all there myself.


Daisy: What kind of a garden do you come from?

Alice: Oh, I don't come from any garden.

Daisy: Do you suppose she's a wildflower?


Alice: Oh, pooh. I'm not afraid of you. Why, you're nothing but a pack of cards.


Alice: Unbirthday? I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand.

March Hare: It's very simple. Now, thirty days has Septem -No. wait... An unbirthday, if you have a birthday, then you - [laughs] She doesn't know what an unbirthday is.


Alice: Curiosity often leads to trouble.


Alice: In my world, the books would be nothing but pictures.


Mad Hatter: No wonder you're late. Why, this watch is exactly two days slow.


March Hare: How about a nice cup of tea?

Alice: "Have a cup of tea," indeed! Well I'm sorry, but I just haven't the time!


Alice: I simply must get through!

Doorknob: Sorry, you're much too big. Simply impassible.

Alice: You mean impossible?

Doorknob: No, impassible. Nothing's impossible.


White Rabbit: Why, Mary Ann! What are you doing out here?

Alice: Mary Ann?

White Rabbit: Don't just do something, stand there... Uh... no no! Go go! Go get my gloves! I'm late!

Alice: But late for what? That's just what I...

White Rabbit: My gloves! [Blows trumpet]

White Rabbit: At once, do you hear!

Alice: Goodness. I suppose I'll be taking orders from Dinah next.


Cheshire Cat: Oh, by the way, if you'd really like to know, he went that way.

Alice: Who did?

Cheshire Cat: The White Rabbit.

Alice: He did?

Cheshire Cat: He did what?

Alice: Went that way.

Cheshire Cat: Who did?

Alice: The White Rabbit.

Cheshire Cat: What rabbit?

Alice: But didn't you just say - I mean - Oh, dear.

Cheshire Cat: Can you stand on your head?

Alice: Oh!


Alice: You can learn a lot of things from the flowers... Huh! Seems to me they could learn a few things about manners!


Dodo: [singing] We'll blow the thing there out, we'll smoke the monster out!


Mad Hatter: Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Alice: Riddles? Now let me see... why is a raven like a writing desk?

Mad Hatter: I beg your pardon?

Alice: Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Mad Hatter: [alarmed] Why is a what?

March Hare: Careful, she's stark ravin' mad!

Alice: But it's your silly riddle. You just said...

Mad Hatter: Easy, don't get excited!



Caterpillar: Who... are... you?

Alice: Why, I hardly know, sir. I've changed so much since this morning, you see...

Caterpillar: No, I do not C, explain yourself.

Alice: I'm afraid I can't explain myself, you see, because I'm not myself, you know.

Caterpillar: I do not know.

Alice: I can't put it any more clearly, sir, because it isn't clear to me.


Mad Hatter: Clean cup, clean cup. Move down.


Alice: I'm sorry I interrupted your birthday party. Thank you.

March Hare: Birthday? My dear child, this is NOT a birthday party.

Mad Hatter: Of course not. This is an unbirthday party.


Mad Hatter: Oh yes mustard! That'll do... Mustard? Don't let's be silly. Now lemon, that's different....


Alice: Curiouser and curiouser.


Queen of Hearts: I warn you dear child, if I lose my temper, you lose your head. Understand?



[after they have restrained the Dormouse]

Mad Hatter: Ah thank goodness! Those are the things that upset me!

March Hare: See all the trouble you started?

Alice: But I didn't think...

March Hare: Ah, that's just it. If you don't think, then you shouldn't talk.



Alice: Better read it first, for if one drinks much from a bottle marked "Poison", it's almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later.


The Rose: Just what species or, shall we say, genus are you, my dear?

Alice: Well, I guess you would call me... genus, humanus... Alice.

Daisy: Ever see an alice with a blossom like that?

Orchid: Come to think of it, did you ever see an alice?

Daisy: Yes, and did you notice her petals? What a peculiar color.

Orchid: [sniffing Alice's hair] And no fragrance.

Daisy: [chuckling, as she lifts up one side of Alice's dress] And just look at those stems.

The Rose: [as Alice slaps the Daisy's leaves away] Rather scrawny, I'd say.

Bud: I think she's pretty.

The Rose: Quiet, bud.


Alice: Oh, but that's nonsense. Flowers can't talk.

The Rose: But of course we can talk, my dear.

Orchid: If there's anyone around worth talking to.

Daisy: Or about. [giggles]


Caterpillar: Recite.

Alice: Oh. Yes sir. How doth the little bumblebee improve each...

Caterpillar: Stop. That is not spoken correctically. It goes: How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale. How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws.

Alice: Well, I must say, I've never heard it that way before.

Caterpillar: I know. I have improoooved it.



Mobile Version